february

And once again, it has been forever since my last post. I will fill ya'll in on the major stuff...

1. I started working. I now work part time (3 days a week) and go to school. This has been an interesting change to say the least.

2. We saw (another) new doctor concerning Ben. This one seemed to think that if we cut down on his feeds then he will eat more... NOPE. We go back next week to see what other brilliant ideas this man has to offer. So now, he isn't eating. He doesn't get enough calories from his feeds to help him grow and to top it all off - he has gone back to his old sleep habits. Or I guess, it should really be called lack of sleep habits. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do, who to see or how to deal with it all.

3. Will on the other hand is doing really well. He tried out for a part in the school play. He starts baseball in a few weeks and has decided he want to play football... I can't believe how fast he is growing up.

4. We started going to a new church. This is the first time, I have gone to a church that my parents didn't go also attend. I loved it. The kids had a great time and are so excited to go back.

5. We are dogless (again). The cute little Yorkie is now at a new home. I am sure he is much better off.

I feel like so much more has happened... but apparently, it must have not been too big of a deal.

Oh- there is one more thing

I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAIN!!

My baby brother and his wife are expecting their first baby at the end of September. I could not be happier! I love, love babies and love the fact that this one will not belong to me. All the fun, none of the work!

Since Christmas...

And once again, it has been a super long time since my last post. I will warn you now, this post in a little long and a lot random.

I hope ya'll had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We had a wonderful Christmas followed by 2 weeks of sickness. It has been so much fun at our house lately (insert sarcasm here). But, it appears that we are all finally over the funk. I am hoping so at least...

As a result of the colds/sinus infections we have all had, we had to take Ben to the doctor. It was there we learned he not only had a sinus infection but has also lost more weight. I am lost at this point. We went with the feeding tube over the summer to avoid this very thing. So, here we are back at square one. We have an appointment with a developmental pediatrician the 24th of this month. I am hoping she will be able to provide some answers. We will see. Until then, I am recording every single detail of his day in hopes that we will see a pattern to his days and his actions.

The spring semester has started for me. As I get closer to finishing, I find myself feeling very scared and overwhelmed of all that will be expected of me. I know teaching is what I want to do. I just hope that I will be successful at it. And with all the turmoil surrounding the school districts here, I am afraid I will not be able to find a job. In the meantime, I am just going to focus on my classes and take it all one step at a time.

My darling husband bought a new (used) truck. I realize most of ya'll don't know him and are probably thinking, "OK. So..." But those of you who do know him are sharing in my pain. This is the 3rd truck he has had in 5 years. We were so close to paying off the one he had! I didn't think the "New Baby" would bother me so much. And I do have to admit, it is a nice truck. I just felt like we were finally making some progress with our debt. Then he went and did this. I realize I could have put my foot down and told him, "No" but, it he works so hard... Either way, one of us is unhappy. Marriage is full of compromises.

Only 4 Days!

I can't believe Christmas is just 4 days away! I am so not ready... I still have gifts I need to buy and presents to wrap.

This weekend we did manage to finish up the shopping. Matt went with me and we just knocked it all out. That was a long night! I was so proud of my Mattie. He is usually a terrible shopper. I knew we had to get the kids' stuff finished that night. I was afraid that he would get tired, complain and make it hard to finish but he didn't!! He was actually a huge help... It really is the small things :)

The boys are of course super excited. I am afraifd this will be the last year Will believes in Santa. I can tell he is very skepitcal of the whole thing. He asks very specific questions and I am running out of answers. I guess we will just cross that bridge when we get there. I hate to think he is growing up. It has gone by so fast.

I hope to finish what I have left to do (other than the wrapping) today. I absolutely dread going anyhwere near the mall but it is unavoidable. I have set a deadline for myself. If it is not bought by today, I am not buying it. I have a tendency to just buy and buy right up until the last minute. I am not going to do it this year. I WILL STOP! I will enjoy the days before Christmas instead of rushing around.

I hope ya'll are enjoying the season and not stressing, too much :)

Thankful...

I got the idea for this post from Lindsey. Thanks Lindsey!

With Christmas right around the corner, it is so easy to focus on what I want. It is far too easy to look at what everyone else is doing and think "I wish..." I wish I had more money to spend on gifts. I wish my house looked like so and so's. I wish... I wish, I wish. I lose the joy that should be in the season.

After reading Lindsey's post this morning, I was reminded of all that I have to be thankful for in my life and of all the reasons I have to be joyful. (And I do have so many) Some of them are deep and thoughtful; others are just things that make me happy each day.

* 2 healthy children
* a loving husband
* a warm house
* a mess in my living room, that says my kids play happily here
* being able to stay home with my boys
* cooking dinner each night and realizing, I pretty much have the life I imagined growing up
* the time Matt and I have together after the boys go to bed
* the piles of laundry that say we have enough to wear
* dirty dishes that say we have enough to eat
* my entire family (every last one of them)
* a hot shower on a cold morning
* caramel macchiato flavored creamer in my coffee each morning
* pulling up to my house and seeing the Christmas lights on the tree through the blinds
* still rocking Ben to sleep each night
* Will asking me to tuck him into bed
* my king bed, flannel sheets and down comforter
* Will's excitement about the true meaning of Christmas

These are just a few of the things I am thankful for and the bring me joy each day. There are many, many more. I hope that as Christmas draws near, you are able to take just a minute and think about all that you have been blessed with.

Beginning to Look a lot like CHRISTMAS!!!

I can't wait any longer. I am going to put up my Christmas decorations today. I have been ready to get them out since the day after Halloween. I think have been pretty patient based on that fact.


*I must confess, This is not my house. I wish it were...

On another note, duck season opened today. My dear husband is in Arkansas "busting some ducks". Poor little Ben just doesn't understand the idea of hunting. He keeps saying, "When Daddy gets home I'm gonna to have a pet duck." I am trying, as delicately as possible, to explain that the ducks daddy brings home won't be pets. As much as I love my husband, I am always happy to see the start of hunting season. This is a crazy time of year with the holidays and exams. It is nice to have Matt occupied.

I am excited about being home today and hopefully getting somethings done.

I hope ya'll have a great weekend!

A Fresh Start

So, I am officially the worst blogger EVER! It has been over 2 months since my last post. I know ya'll have missed me...

I can tell you right now, NOTHING has been going on here. Just life as usual. Instead trying to fill ya'll in on 2 months worth of nothing, I am just going to start fresh.

Radomness and HELP!

This week has absolutely flown by. I love that the short weeks are always the most busy...

We are all back into our "school" routine. It did not take nearly as long to adjust as I thought it would. My classes are totally going to kick my tail this semester. I have already had three projects due and we are just over a week into class. So much for easing us back into things.

I am afraid we are all beginning to get sick. Nothing serious, just the typical quarterly colds. You know, just sick enough to feel bad but, nothing that requires and antibiotic. My doctors famous words, "It just has to run its course". Gee, thanks doc.

Matt's birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to do for him. We have a routine...
1. I ask him what he wants.
2. He doesn't tell me.
3. I guess and get him something he has mentioned.
4. He opens it, laughs and says, "Thanks dear".
5. He takes it back.
This happens every holiday, birthday and gift giving occasion. For 5 years, it has been like this! I don't know why he can't just tell me what he wants. I mean, I have no problem telling him what I want.

And lastly, I need ya'll's advice. Ben has a "friend". Sometimes she is with us and other times she isn't. Sometimes when we are out she just appears. We set a place for her at the table, buckle her in the car and open her door. This has been going on for about 3 months. I have no problem with the whole imaginary friend situation. I know it is a developmental stage. I don't mind setting a place for her, opening doors, bathing her... My problem is this. Yesterday, I picked him up from school and he tells me we need to pick up his friend. I say, "okay", thinking she will just appear like usual. We pick up Will and head home. Ben again says we need to pick up his friend. That she is by karate (which is no where close to where we are). I try to spin it and say that she is already at home. Of course, he says she isn't. He gets upset. What do I do? I mean, I have my limits but at the same time, if she is real to him, I don't want to leave her stranded. Help!!!

Update...

Oh my! It has been so long since I have posted anything. The absence has been due to technical difficulties. We were having a problem with our aircard. In order for it to work, I had to hold it at a weird angle which only left me with one hand for typing and such. As much as I love ya'll, I was just not willing to type with one hand. I am just not that talented. We now have a new aircard and all is well.

There has not really been too much going on around here. Will is well into second grade and loving it. Ben has started back to "school" too. He goes two days a week. It has been so good for him. He has a great time and his teachers are wonderful. They have been so patient with Ben (and me) as we transition back into a routine.

I also started back to school, again. The end is finally in sight! I am so excited! I am not sure I will know what to do with myself when I am no longer a student. I am really happy with my classes this semester. They should be really fun.

That is really all that has been going on... Oh, I had to get new tires. I hate buying stuff like that. I mean, I know I need them but, I could definitely think of thousands of other ways to spend that much money.

I hope ya'll have a great holiday weekend! In my mind, summer is now officially over. Technically, it's not. But, to me Labor Day has always been the end of summer. This is when the pools close, you put up the all white shoes and clothes and pull down the jackets. I love this time of year!

*Also, in "grow button" news, Ben has gained 4 pounds!!!

Early to bed...

We had a pretty low key weekend. And I do mean low key...

Saturday night Matt and I were both in bed at 8:30!! I know, we are so exciting. As we were getting ready for bed, I reminded him that we had on our first date around this time 5 years ago. I also reminded him that he did not even pick me up for that first date until 10:00! My, my how times have changed. I guess the next step is the early bird dinner special.

5 for Friday

This is my first Friday 5. I am so excited about the topic...

5 Things You Miss About Being a Kid

1. I miss having no stress. No bills to pay, dinner to make, kids to worry about... I couldn't wait to grow up and now I miss the days of my childhood.

2. I miss being sitting in the chair with my daddy each night before bed. There was something so comforting about squeezing myself into the chair with him.

3. I miss having someone to take care of me when I was sick. Someone to comfort me when I was sad and someone to celebrate with me when I was happy. Sometimes you just need your mom. I miss the days when she was right there.

4. I miss the wonder and excitement I had when I was child. Everything was new. Anything was possible.

5. I miss us all eating dinner together. One of my most favorite childhood memories is us all sitting around the table talking and laughing. Then my brother and I in the kitchen doing dishes, complaining the whole time that our younger sister didn't have to help.

When I was child, I would have never guessed that the things I would miss would be so simple.

Voting

Today I needed to go vote. Seeing as how Ben and I are pretty much attached these days, he went with me. As we were walking in, I was explaining voting and why we do it. I gave it to him in very simple terms, obviously. As we were waiting in line, he looked at me and said, "I vote for cupcakes." So, according to Ben, today we fulfilled our civil duty and ignoring all party lines, cast our vote for cupcakes!

In Our World

This post is just a hodge podge of what we have/haven't been up to lately. It is all very random, sorry.

There hasn't been a whole lot going on around here. We are enjoying our last few days of summer vacation. We register Will for school today! He starts 2nd grade next Monday. I know I probably shouldn't say this but... I AM SO READY FOR SCHOOL TO START!!! Our house just seems to run better on a routine. I am very much looking forward to getting back into the swing of things.

My little sister comes home on Saturday. I am really excited to see here. She has been away all summer working at Student Life. When we were little, if you would have told me I would miss her one day, I would have laughed, loudly. I can't wait for her to come home. We have her wedding to plan!

Ben is back 100%. He is finally getting comfortable with his grow button. He doesn't mind us seeing it now and has even shown it to a few people. Best of all, he gained a pound and a half!! That is like 8% of his body weight in two weeks. His little cheeks are getting chunky and he is staring to get little dimples by his elbows. It is so awesome to see him beginning to grow.

And last but not least in the news of our house, Matt finally joined Facebook. After all the comments about it, how it was silly and a waste of time, he set it up for himself. The funniest thing is how he gets an ego boost with each friend request. He called me yesterday just to tell me he was already up to 25 friends. He will be addicted like the rest of us soon.

10 on Tuesday

1. We are finally adjusting to the grow button. We have mastered feeding in public and are on a good schedule. Ben is back to his old self. Will isn't wierded out by it all anymore. And, drumroll please... BEN IS SLEEPING ALL NIGHT!!!!

2. Will started karate class. He thinks he is a regular Jackie Chan now. I am just hoping it will help with discipline. It definitely couldn't hurt. It is a very structured environment, lots of "Yes sir". I see it being a really good thing for him.

3. We finally got some rain! We desperately needed it, not just for the grass but, it cooled things off a bit as well. Can I just say, I am so ready for fall! I am over summer and its heat.

4. School starts in 2 weeks!! I must say I am ready. I am a Type A personality. I thrive on structure and routine. I am looking foward to getting back into a routine. I am still having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that my Baby Will is going to start 2nd grade! I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us.

5. I have been on a major de-cluttering spree. Yesterday, I went through the boys closets. I cleaned them out and got rid of a lot of things. Today, I am hoping to tackle the toys. This is going to prove to be a bit more of a challenge seeing that they are here. We will see how far I get with this one. This might have to wait until they are back in school.

6. Matt and I discovered yesterday that we have an infestation of army worms. They are these little caterpiller looking things that kill your grass. Our backyard has these big brown patches where these little boogers have helped themselves to our grass. I am now grossed out and while they can't hurt us, I don't want the kids in the backyard until they are gone!

7. I took Will shopping to get a few things for school the other day. You will never guess what he picked out. The child wanted to get skinny jeans and a vest! There just isn't much to say about that. I mean some guys, older than 8, can pull that off. We just aren't there yet.

8. Ben has been dressing himself lately...

9. I have been with Ben all day and all night for 3 weeks straight. As much as I love the kid, I would like just a few hours alone. Maybe soon...

10. I have realized in the past few weeks how very blessed I am. I have a wonderful family and great friends who really care about us. They have all been so helpful. It is just sad that somethimes it takes a struggle or a very difficult time in life to see how blessed we really are.

Have a great Tuesday!

The Grow Button

WOW!!!

We have had an exciting and stressful past few days. Most of you know Ben had his feeding tube placed on Thursday. He did pretty well. The surgery went great. He had a bit of trouble with his first few feedings but, we figured it out. We have gotten the hang of it now. He gets three 133 cc feeds over 30 minutes 3 times a day. At night, he gets a 320 cc feed over an 8 hour period. He is almost back to his old self. There are a few things he has tried to do that he couldn't- like jumping and bending all the way over. Other than that, he has adjusted quite well. He is still very insecure about it though. I had planned on posting pictures but he will not let me take a picture where you can see his button. He doesn't want to show it to anyone. Even in the hospital, he kept the covers pulled up to his chin. Maybe later...

The plan for right now is just to continue what we are doing now. We go back in two weeks so the doctor can look at the sight. In a month we go back to endocrine to see if any progress had been made.

It is definitely an adjustment. We have to plan our outings much more carefully. If we are going to be gone at feeding time, we have to be sure to bring the pump, bag and formula. it is like packing a diaper bag every time we leave. I just thought we were past that stage.



This is what Ben's button looks like. This is not a picture of his but you get the idea from this. And that is it. When it is time for him to "eat", we just lift the little flap up and insert the tube. Not too big a deal! His pump is portable. We can stick it in his backpack and he can play and do normal activities during his feedings. Unless you are looking for it, the only strange thing you will see is a small child wearing a backpack.

I hope ya'll had a past few days. I feel like I have missed so much. I am slowly catching up on what ya'll have been up to. I promise I will get through all eventually.

Mom of the Year

http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/2010/07/not-mom-of-year.html

Can I just say that I love this post! I am guilty of wishing I was more "mom of the year". I am so not perfect and this post is such a good reminder that most moms are more like me than I ever imagined. We do what we need to do to make it through each day. Some days are better than others. Some days, we make it out the door all clean and matching. Some days, we stay in our pj's until it is time to put on new pj's for bed. But, at the end of each day, our children are loved and that is all that really matters.

A few thing that knock me out of contention for mom of the year...
My children have had cookies and candy for breakfast on more than one occasion this year. My only requirement, they drink milk with it. Milk makes everything healthy.

Last night, I gave them each Benedryl for "allergies" they had before bedtime. I don't know how the fell asleep so early and so fast. Note the extreme sarcasm.

I did not have a working lighter to light Will's birthday candles.
I had to send my husband next door to get one so that we could sing "Happy Birthday". Picture all the families standing around looking at me... not my finest moment.

Once again, an event has gone by and I have one picture.

Have a great Monday. We finally have much needed rain here and I am loving it!

Happy Birthday Will

Yesterday my baby boy turned 8! I can't believe it. The years have just flown by. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday.

I clearly remember the day I went into labor. I had gone to work with my dad. I just needed to get out of the house. So, I rode around with him that day. I had a doctor's appointment where my induction was sceduled for the coming Friday. (It was Wednesday.) I came home from the doctor and was making plans for my last day before I became Mommy. I was going to get a mani/pedi, go to lunch with my mom and finish the day with a date with Will's dad. I was home with my dad and pretty excited about the next day. It was the first time in a while I had not minded being pregnant. The end was in sight. I knew I just had to make it one more day. I was hoping the pain I was having was just from the exam I had earlier. Daddy could tell something was wrong. He finally asked and I told him, "I think I am having contractions." After a long pause he said, "Can you wait until your mom gets home? She will be home soon. I am going to call her right now. Just, umm, right down the times and we will wait on your mom." My sweet daddy helped me time the contractions until my mom got home.

21 hours, 2 epidurals and lots of tears later, we welcomed William James into the world.

I am so proud of the boy he has grown into. He is really a great kid. He is definitley still a kid though... there are times when he annoys me to no end but, I would not trade it for the world. I was young when I had him. His raising have definitely been a team effort. Let me tell you I have had a great team. I can't wait to see the man he becomes but, for now, I am enjoying right now.

Randomness

I must confess, I let my children have chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. I did insist that they have milk with them, which makes it sort of healthy, right? I just did not feel like fighting that battle this morning. Ben only ate once yesterday and woke up asking for them. So, of course I caved. Then, I couldn't let Ben have cookies and make Will eat breakfast. Thus, we had cookies for breakfast.

I just feel emotionally drained these days. As we get closer to the 15th, I am facing a huge reality. It is taking much more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I keep telling myself that this is nothing compared to what others deal with but, I am still having a hard time.

On a lighter note, we had a great weekend! We were able to hang out with our family and our friends and have a family day! Three day weekends are wonderful! For this next one, I need a drum roll...

BEN IS COMPLETELY POTTY TRAINED!!!!

I am just a little bit excited about this. No more diapers, not even at night! He is in big boy pants 24/7! Now, we just have to work on the peeing outside thing. I am having a hard time getting him to understand that he can't pee anywhere he wants just because he is outside. To him, any place outdoors is fair game.

I hope ya'll have a lovely day. I can't believe it is already Wednesday, another beautiful thing about a long weekend.

Whew...

Whew... what a week. I am so happy to see a long weekend! I have been through just about every emotion imaginable. We have seen more doctors these past few days than we have seen in a year. The good news is, it is over! Ben's surgery has been scheduled for July 15.

Just to give you a recap...
Ben does not eat. There is no medical explanation for this. He just doesn't eat. On a good day, he will get about 500 calories, which is not enough. He has stopped growing and is now losing weight. The doctors and his therapist decided that he would benefit from a feeding tube. This will get him the calories he needs in addition to helping his body recognize hunger. The goal is for him to gain 10 pounds and begin to eat. In the end, our hope is that he will be able to eat enough to sustain himself. So, feeding him through the tube will eventually help him eat by himself (kinda backwards huh).

We will check in the 15th. The surgery will be preformed and if everything goes well, we should be home the 17th. We met with the surgeon and the GI (love him). I learned the details of the surgery and what we could expect. As far as surgeries go, this one has a low risk of complications. I also spoke with a nurse that told me that most children are not in much pain after this surgery. She said in most cases, Tylenol is all they need to give to control pain. So, now we wait...

I hope ya'll have a great holiday weekend. Be safe and remember those that fight for our freedom.

In Honor of COHEN

To see Cohen's story click here.

Dollars and Sense

Will: Mom, I need a dollar. Can I have a dollar?
Me: I don't have a dollar.
Will: You probably don't have any cents either.
Me: Nope, you and Ben took care of all my sense too.